battle symphony
by Mia-Zeklos
Summary: "It was supposed to be a moment of joy. That was what Jace had always heard; about how beautiful it was and how excited he would be, if he happened to be lucky enough for it to happen to him at all." Wing!fic, Soulmate AU
1. Chapter 1

**Notes: This was requested as a prompt on tumblr and it's something I've been thinking of for some time anyway, so here it is! It'll likely get a follow-up later, but this piece of it felt finished on its own and I didn't want to pick at it more than necessary. Hope you enjoy it and, as always, feedback is appreciated. :)**

It was supposed to be a moment of joy. That was what Jace had always heard; about how _beautiful_ it was and how excited he would be, if he happened to be lucky enough for it to happen to him at all.

No one had told him that he would also be terrified, but then again, he supposed that not many people had been in his exact place before.

"Don't move," he had muttered only seconds prior as his stele had traced its path on Alec's back to form the _calm anger_ rune. It was fairly simple one and it would have been easier if Alec wasn't as restless as he was. But if that had been the case, Jace guessed, he wouldn't have needed the rune in the first place.

"Does it have to be that big?" Alec asked irritably, but didn't pull away. "Don't overdo it."

"I'm almost done," Jace said, placing his hand at the small of Alec's back in reassurance as he finished the last line. "There you go," he added, tapping the exact place of the rune. "You should be able to activate it yourself when you need to."

Alec made to speak, but cut himself off as he doubled over, sinking to his knees and Jace watched in horror as something shifted under his skin with a nauseating crunch.

"Alec!" _This couldn't be happening_. Alec's body had never rejected a rune, _never_ , and it didn't look like it had now – there was no blackened skin and his new Mark looked like any other, but it was clear that it was affecting him somehow and Jace tried to get Alec to face him, only to have his hand pushed away.

"Stay back," Alec warned through his gritted teeth, frustration crossing his features when Jace didn't move. "Or at least get out of the way. I don't want to-"

"What?" Jace asked, even more distressed when another pained groan made its way past Alec's lips and he curled in even further on himself. Jace did step away this time, afraid of causing his parabatai even more pain and vaguely registering that he appeared to recognise what was happening to him, as unlikely as it seemed.

It had been the right decision. With one last cry, Alec was surrounded by something that looked suspiciously like _magic_ and before Jace could blink, Alec's wings had already spread in front of him.

Neither of them moved. Jace wanted to, more than anything – even without realising it, he'd been the cause of this – but he was rooted to the spot, stuck somewhere between shock and immense relief.

Alec was fine. He wasn't in danger; he must have realised what was going on when he'd felt the first signs. And it made sense that it would be painful – even now, he could see the blood still dripping from every feather where the wings had broken the skin of his back. It was what finally got Jace out of his stupor and he approached his parabatai slowly, trailing a hand over Alec's shoulder; the gesture light and hesitant. It was meant to be reassuring, but Alec flinched away and got to his feet, taking a step back as if he'd been burned.

"Alec?" Jace found his voice first and reached out again. He still remembered how to approach birds of prey when they were frightened even after all the time that had passed and that was exactly what Alec resembled now as he accepted Jace's touch cautiously, wings pressed against his back in defence. "How," he cleared his throat. "How does it feel?"

"It's fine," Alec waved him off, clearly distracted. "You know what that means, don't you?"

"Of course." It wasn't that surprising, come to think of it; he had already made the conscious choice to share his soul with Alec and it had just so happened that the Angel had made sure they would find each other anyway.

Not all Shadowhunters managed to get their wings. In fact, the majority never did – what with the arranged marriages that their society was built on – and it was a treasured trait for those who did have it. It was a great advantage to have in battle and also a sign to the entire Shadow world that you had found your soulmate.

Because that was how it always happened – all that was needed was a touch on the back and the wings manifested themselves for the first time. Jace had never seen it happen before and the enormity of the situation made him lightheaded, along with everything that had led up to it. He had known Alec for ten years and somehow they had never found out. Not before their parabatai ceremony, not even during all their tests; it just hadn't occurred to them that there might have been a reason they'd been drawn together in the first place.

"And you know we can't tell anyone."

"I know," Jace agreed absently. They would have more than enough time to discuss this later and to figure out how to hide it from everyone, but there were more pressing matters to attend to. Or at least, so it seemed, even if Alec was apparently too overwhelmed to see it just then. "Can I see them?"

Alec nodded and presented his back to him, still looking somewhat conflicted. It made sense – he himself hadn't seen them yet – but he trusted him nevertheless and for now, Jace could work with that.

Tentatively, Alec's wings unfurled almost to their full potential and for a moment, Jace was awestruck. The primaries brushed the walls of Alec's spacious room and he still hadn't stretched them completely; he'd just run out of _space_. Jace ran one hand gently over the skin in the base of Alec's wings, right over his spine, trying to imagine what they would look like outside. Each of them had to be at least fifteen feet long and it made sense with his height – they wouldn't be able to carry him otherwise – but Jace still couldn't help but be amazed. _He had done this_. His touch had created something so breathtaking and the thought made him smile even wider despite Alec's fidgeting.

"What do they look like? On the outside," he clarified, trying to glance over his shoulder and failing as he was faced with even more feathers.

"They're..." For once, Jace's words failed him. There was nothing he could say that would do the actual thing justice. The coal black expanse in front of him was formed of three rows of long, sharp feathers, straight everywhere else but at the curved edges. The sight alone was enough to make Jace wish they could be somewhere else; somewhere where he could see them in all their glory. "They look like a raven's." He slid his fingers down the side of the wing and watched, fascinated, as Alec shivered as if he had touched his skin. For all he knew, that was exactly what it felt like; he would have plenty of time later to find out for himself.

They did resemble a raven's wings too much to be anything else, he decided; the way the dark feathers shifted into every colour of the rainbow under the afternoon light and he could only imagine what a sight they would make once they left the confines of the room.

"Do you want to see your own too?" Alec asked and the uncertainty in his voice was enough to force Jace out of his musings and back into their soulmate issue. Because that's what it was, even if they were skirting around it – a problem they weren't quite sure how to deal with.

"Why not?" If he was to be honest with himself, Jace wanted it more than anything. The freedom it would grant him – _them_ – was too grand for him to brush it away. He tugged his shirt over his head, turning around and bracing himself in expectation. "Go on."

It wouldn't be as painful for him, he could already tell – at least he would _expect_ it – so Jace braced himself, holding his breath until he felt Alec's fingers press against the base of his spine.

"Careful!"

Alec pulled his hand away immediately, soothing the feathers he'd disturbed back into place. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No, it's fine. Just-"

"-it still hurts." Jace's left wing had been injured during one of their recent missions and runes weren't exactly designed to be used on wings, so he'd had to heal the natural way. He had tried flying for the first time since then today and he was exhausted; Alec didn't need him to say more to see that. "We should walk home. You can't fly again in that state."

"We'll see." Jace didn't look too worried, although he was still tense, and Alec smiled when his parabatai pushed his wings back into his touch. "You still have work to do."

Alec scoffed, but obliged anyway. It still baffled him how natural this felt now and he carded his fingers through Jace's feathers, straightening the ones that looked out of place.

He hadn't been able to understand Jace's fascination with his wings at first – all he could see was the pitch black mass behind him, obscuring his view of just about everything that wasn't right in front of him – but once Jace's had appeared, his reaction hadn't been much different.

It was like their wings had been _designed_ to be in complete opposition. No matter how he looked at them, Alec's wings were all sharp edges, with long, clearly defined feathers. They were convenient – they would be easier to take care of that way even if Jace wasn't around to do it for him – and they served him perfectly in battle, but they were also intimidating, or so Izzy had said. Alec was glad – if people found them intimidating when he wasn't using them, then it could definitely be used as an advantage if needed – but it all flew out of his mind when he looked at Jace's.

It didn't matter that Jace relished it whenever Alec touched his wings and had encouraged it from the very start; Alec still couldn't get used to the idea and he suspected that he never would.

Jace's wingspan was almost as big as his own, but that was where the similarities ended. His wings were an almost impeccable white, dotted with brown over his coverts and on the gradual curve of his primaries. They were impossibly soft to the touch – just like any snowy owl's wings, because that was what they were – and that made them look deceptively innocent, but Alec knew better than that – he had seen them in action enough times by now to know that Jace could use them to their full potential. It was what had got them hurt recently; his parabatai had tried to use them as a shield and Alec still couldn't shake the image of the bright red blood against the stark white of his feathers. It was what made him touch them with even bigger care now and Jace positively purred at the caress – his wings seemed to be more receptive than Alec's – and the reaction called a smile on Alec's lips despite everything running through his head; everything he'd tried to take break from today.

Hiding this new development had turned out to be impossible just a few days after they had decided to do it in the first place. Hiding the marks on their backs had been easy, but hiding the wings themselves was another thing altogether – despite having a magic of their own, they were usually subjected to a lot of training before the Shadowhunters who got them could fully control when they appeared and disappeared.

And so they'd started training on their own. They had picked the rooftop of the Institute first, hovering just a few feet over the ground just to get used to the feeling somewhere they knew they were safe.

Except they hadn't been. They'd got reckless - and had taken far too much time away from their usual duties - and the next time Hodge had decided to look for them during their training sessions, he'd been in for a surprise. It had only gone downhill from there - even when they had convinced him not to tell anyone anything, Maryse had realised that they were all hiding something as soon as she'd taken a good look at everyone and they had been forced to explain.

Nothing had to change. The soulmate bond didn't necessarily have to be a romantic one. Many Shadowhunters never got their wings and still had happy marriages; the Lightwoods were a clear enough proof of that. That had been just a fraction of the arguments they had used to defend themselves and in the end, the Inquisitor had decided that they didn't need yet another warning about their parabatai bond turning into something that they weren't allowed to even consider.

At first, Alec had been relieved. The parabatai bond remained as steady a shield between him and Jace as it had always been and it was enough to stop him from even hoping that Jace being his soulmate had to mean something else. Something _new_.

Or at least, that had been the plan. The Law was absolute on that behalf no matter what the circumstances were and Alec suspected that the only reason they'd got off as lightly as they had was that it hadn't happened for the first time. Izzy had been the one to check - parabatai pairs often ended up as soulmates, too, and since both bonds were beyond one's control, the Council usually tried not to make too big a deal out of it. Still, Alec was paranoid enough to remain as conscious as possible about the fact that there was a camera on every corner - both in the Institute itself and in the city outside.

It hadn't been a problem at first. They weren't doing anything illegal; even if they were being closely monitored for the time being, there was nothing they could be punished for.

That didn't mean that things hadn't changed. There had been a subtle shift in their relationship ever since Alec's wings had first appeared; a tension between them that they hadn't managed to dissolve and even the distraction of learning a new skill hadn't proved sufficient. Alec could almost feel the _what if_ that hung in the air between them; the countless unspoken possibilities that they couldn't dare to discuss even in the safety of their rooms. Alec cherished their parabatai bond more than anything and he knew that if it hadn't been for that bond, they might have never found out about that either, but that didn't make the realisation any easier to bear.

 _No_. He couldn't think about that; not now, not _ever_ , and if Jace ever brought it up - and he wanted to, Alec could see that - he would deal with it as quickly as possible. They had their bond. It was enough. It had to be. And, well, if it turned out not to be– Jace didn't have to learn about that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes: I am so ridiculously late with this follow-up, but I hope it works well as a conclusion. ;3 As always, feedback is welcome!**

Even with his eyes closed, Jace could feel the flicker in the air above him and, despite the day he'd been having, it was enough to bring a smile on his face.

Not that finding him in a good mood was that much of an accomplishment these days, really; if anything, he was happier than he had ever been. And when he was here – away from the Institute (and the rest of the world along with it) – the feeling was only enhanced.

Still, there were more than enough drawbacks even in his current situation and he knew that he would wind up focusing on them anyway if he was left on his own long enough and that was what made Alec's arrival an even happier occasion.

"Did I miss anything?" he asked, still not looking up. The fluttering of wings stopped in favour of the sound of Alec's footsteps approaching until Jace could feel his silhouette shadowing him from the afternoon sunlight.

"Aside from the entire meeting?" The words were sardonic, but Alec didn't sound particularly angry. "Nothing much."

"Nothing important, then," Jace grinned and finally faced his parabatai. "Thought so."

He got up to his feet, taking Alec in carefully as they fell into step together. He didn't look as tired as he usually did after a meeting and he didn't _feel_ as tired either. It hadn't been one where crucial decisions had to be made, but then again, Jace had known that already – if that had been the case, he would have been there too.

He still wasn't sure what exactly had changed in the time since he had realised that Alec was his soulmate, but he could tell that something had shifted in their parabatai bond; something he couldn't put a finger on, subtle enough or them to go two months without mentioning it and yet so significant that they had to keep glossing over it every time it became apparent.

Two months. It was telling, really, that they had managed to ignore the elephant in the room as long as they had. Jace suspected that the main reason for that was the fact that not much had changed in their parabatai bond at all – they had always been close, even for parabatai, and the new revelation had only made some parts of it click into place; things that Jace had considered a given suddenly shining in a brand new light.

In his defence, Jace didn't really have anyone to compare experiences with. Parabatai bonds were rare and no two pairs were the same; it had just never occurred to him _not_ to assume that some things were universal.

But now, as he chanced a look in Alec's direction, Jace was filled with something dangerously close to _smugness_. He knew now that bringing him and Alec together had been the Angel's will, but he hadn't been aware of that when the two of them had tentatively started growing closer. He had chosen Alec _himself_ and the new development had only cemented what he had known already.

Which was what had brought him here in the first place. He'd wanted to talk to Alec somewhere where no one would think to look for them, in a moment when they wouldn't really be missed. Jace had done everything that had needed to be done before he'd left this morning and Alec had gone to his meeting; no one would have a reason to call them in now.

"You wanted to talk?"

It was meant to be a statement, Jace supposed, but something in Alec's tone, something very close to apprehension, turned it into a question. He couldn't blame him – the idea of Jace calling him to the other end of the city just to talk to him was rather alarming all on its own – but that exact apprehension was just one of the reasons he'd wanted to talk to him about the situation they'd found themselves in.

"I did," he nodded, sitting at the nearest corner of the building's rooftop. The edge provided the best possible view of the city underneath without drawing attention to their presence. They were never truly off duty and later, Jace had been planning to find a reason for their absence in case someone had noticed. He knew perfectly well that an impromptu demon hunt would be the most plausible explanation. "But I don't know where to start."

It wasn't an easy thing to admit; this helplessness. Because that was exactly how he felt, helpless – lost in every possible thought that had passed through his mind since the day Alec's wings had sprung up under his touch. The moment the idea had had the time to sink in – Alec was his _soulmate_ – he'd been overjoyed despite the warnings that his parabatai kept sending his way. It wasn't up for a debate; nothing in their lives could really change. There was nothing to discuss, and both the Clave and Alec had been adamant about that. They had been closely monitored for a while and things had gone back to normal after that, and they had been strongly advised to remember that even with their soulmate marks, the parabatai bond always came first.

Alec had accepted the idea easily enough, going on with his life and clearly not registering the fact that Jace's world had shifted on its axis.

He could definitely see that something was wrong now, though, because he frowned before slowly approaching and taking a seat next to Jace.

"You can start from the beginning."

 _The_ _beginning_. Jace wasn't sure where and when it had all began. When they'd first met? When Jace had realised that he wanted Alec as his parabatai? Their ceremony? The moment they had discovered their wings? Looking back at everything, it seemed like a string of the same event stretched through their lives, carrying the same meaning; the two of them finding each other again and again.

Alec hadn't disguised his wings again after arriving, just pulled them closer to his body so that they rested comfortably behind his back. Jace reached out, taking a feather between his fingers to examine it carefully. He remembered seeing Alec's wings for the first time and wishing that he could see them in the sunlight and now that he had, they hadn't disappointed. Quite on the contrary, actually; he had been in awe when he'd seen Alec use them on the rooftop of the Institute. They were about as intimidating as he'd expected, both because of Alec's wingspan and because of the sharp edges that every feather seemed to possess, but they were still beautiful in their harshness; the glossy black surface had shone in too many colours for him to count and Jace had wanted nothing more than to see them up close again; to see them in action as Alec took flight.

This. He had to start with this.

"Do you remember what you told the Inquisitor?" he asked, still trailing his hand over Alec's coverts until the gesture almost turned into a caress. "When our case ended up in her hands. You said that soulmates don't have to have a relationship; it's just what usually happens. But there are many kinds of love, and all of them are equally significant."

"Yes?" Confusion coloured Alec's voice even in the curtness of his answer and Jace smiled despite himself.

"And then _I_ said that it happened frequently between parabatai; finding out that they're each other's soulmate as well."

"Of course I remember all of that, Jace." Alec was rarely impatient, but his nervousness was likely getting the better of him already. "Our entire lives were on the line. Why does it matter now?"

"I've just been thinking," Jace shrugged. Alec was focused on him entirely now and he gathered all the determination he'd worked up to over the last two months. "About the bond. That if it happens so often, then... Alec, maybe there's a reason for that."

He didn't look away; not when he was finished speaking and not when he heard the barely audible hitch in Alec's breathing. He looked _vulnerable_ for a moment, expression stripped from everything he'd tried to keep hidden. It was enough to take Jace's breath away.

"Meaning?" He was tense; Jace could feel it even on the edges of his feathers. "It only makes sense. Most people never find someone suited to be their parabatai. There's usually something that brings them together."

"And usually it's a soulmate bond, apparently." Now that he'd started talking, Jace found himself unable – unwilling – to stop. "And the Clave always gives them an ultimatum, knowing that they'll stick to their oath. But we're not really given a choice, are we? No one would give up their parabatai bond and their runes, even if it means giving up everything else."

" _We_?" Alec echoed, even more stricken that he had been before. "Jace, what is this about? Even if you're on the right track, it doesn't matter. Everyone does choose the parabatai bond. As it should be. If we're not Shadowhunters, what do we have? We can't even be sure whether deruned Shadowhunters can still fly."

They really didn't know. In any other situation, a soulmate bond was praised and desired and even if for parabatai it could become grounds for deruning, it had never actually been done. Everyone had been too scared to delve in deeper before.

"It doesn't have to be something we'll broadcast," Jace said, running a hand through his hair and channelling his frustration into the gesture. "That's why I called you all the way out here, actually." His gaze strayed to Alec's again and this time, his parabatai didn't look away. "It wasn't something I could talk about at the Institute. And this is..." he reached out, fingers tangling with Alec's, holding on even he felt the surprise that washed over him. "None of this is theirs to see."

"None of what?" Alec was quiet, so quiet, Jace could only just make the words out. He didn't move away, though; didn't even _try_ to stop Jace from pulling him closer. He looked dazed, as if he didn't quite know what to focus on and Jace decided that it was about time to point him in the right direction.

He made his intention clear, squeezing Alec's hand gently and drawing him closer. "Let me just try," he said, his free hand finding its way to Alec's shoulder. "And if I'm wrong, we'll never have to talk about this again. How about that?"

Alec's worry had shifted into disbelief, but he nodded anyway – a quick, almost unnoticeable movement.

He was far from sure that it was a good idea, but he'd made his decision. It wasn't a feeling Jace was unfamiliar with. After they'd summoned each other's wings, Jace had done his best to memorise every manoeuvre in the book. Jumping off the edge of buildings was his favourite one by now. Despite his initial uneasiness, he'd learnt that there was nothing that could compare to the uncertainty of the first moment after he lost his footing, especially since it was usually followed by the euphoria of flying.

He didn't feel too different now. It was as if he was staring down into the abyss; as if one little, insignificant decision would determine the rest of his life.

The second time around, the decision wasn't quite as difficult. He took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around Alec's neck, pulling him down until he was close enough for their lips to meet.

 **o.O.o**

Alec couldn't honestly say that he hadn't expected this.

Really, even though he hadn't had the faintest idea of what Jace wanted from him when he'd first asked him to meet here, he had realised where things were going when he'd started talking. That didn't mean that he'd believed any of it; he'd just assumed that it was nothing but another instance of Jace questioning the Clave and their orders at every turn.

But somewhere along the way, something had changed. Jace's rebellious impulses had never made him seem so lost or so nervous before. And it wasn't just that – when he'd looked at Alec, there had been _something_ in his eyes; something hesitant and unsure and almost a perfect mirror of what Alec could guess he looked like every time he let himself think about-

If he was honest with himself, _this_ was what he'd been thinking about after they had found out about their soulmate bond. It hadn't been the first time – he'd been entertaining similar thoughts for quite a while before that – but it was the knowledge of what they could have had that had made his mind wander even more.

Under normal circumstances, he and Jace would have had all the time in the world to explore their soulmate bond and to decide what direction they wanted it to take – Alec could still remember the first few days when they'd managed to keep their secret and how glorious it had all been while it had lasted. He could get used to this, he'd thought; to seeing Jace happier than ever as he carefully prepared himself for his first flight, an angel in the flesh as his snow white wings shimmered under the sun. What had happened instead had been entirely different; their discovery being overshadowed by fear and secrets and a visit from the Inquisitor herself and while they had been told explicitly that they were free to go, Alec had never quite shaken off the feeling of being constantly watched and he suspected that Jace felt the same way. Over the last few weeks, he'd been even more restless than before, taking any excuse to be away from the Institute, and Alec couldn't blame him.

So he wasn't exactly _surprised_ that Jace's had decided that taking the first step would be a good idea. It was typical of him to decide to solve a problem by taking the matters into his own hands and meeting it headfirst.

 _I've been thinking_ , Jace had said, and the truth of it was clear in his kiss. There was nothing urgent about it and, without really meaning to, Alec found himself relaxing into it, one hand reaching up to tangle in Jace's hair and bring him closer.

They could figure out the rest later.

 **o.O.o**

"This was a bad idea," Alec said, breaking the silence reigning around them. It was mostly out of habit, Jace suspected; the mere _thought_ of being here in the first place was a foreign one, but he was clearly starting to enjoy it. "If someone sees-"

"No one's going to see," Jace cut him off with a sigh, shifting slightly on his cautious perch on the fence and feeling his wings spread out slightly in alarm. It wasn't meant for sitting and the only time anyone ever came to the top of the demon towers was to check on their effectiveness, and even _that_ happened far too rarely for them to worry about it now. "If you didn't want to come, you should have _said_. You've been complaining ever since we arrived." He looked up, meeting his parabatai's eyes, his lips curling into a smile. "Is that all your mouth is good for?"

"This is really not the time," Alec pointed out, but there was no heat to his voice and Jace could tell that he was already distracted from his initial worries. "I thought you were supposed to show me the city."

"That's exactly what I'm doing." While Alec had visited Alicante before, it had always been for a few hours at most. Jace, on the other hand, knew the place like the back of his hand and they'd used the Council meeting they'd had to attend to as an excuse to steal a little time for themselves. That was how they'd ended up on the borders of the city, just above the gates from where they'd flown to their current position. It was easy to see Alicante in its entirety from here and while the memory of the last time he'd had the same view still hurt, it was a dull kind of ache now. Alec was here, his presence as grounding as it could be this far up in the air, quietly taking everything in until Jace could almost start appreciating it for the first time in his life. "I promised I'd help you see everything, right?"

"You did," Alec admitted. His honest response would have been more along the lines of _I should have expected something like this_ , Jace could guess that much, but he didn't really seem bothered. If anything, he looked _calm_ ; with his wings still spreading behind his back, ready to take off at any moment, and the almost unnoticeable smile playing on his lips, he looked happier than Jace had seen him in recent memory.

Hiding in plain sight was what they did best – they'd discovered that soon after they'd decided to give their soulmate bond a try as well. Places like the demon towers – high above the rest of the world; high enough that they would be unrecognisable from below – were the safest ones as far as they could tell and Jace leant back against the wall of adamas behind him with a sigh of contentment.

Alec's expression turned fond and he reached out, carding his fingers through Jace's wings where the feathers were already ruffled from the wind. He was still endlessly fascinated by them and Jace couldn't even blame him; not when flying with his parabatai by his side had become his favourite part of the day much more quickly than he'd expected it to. They'd got used to this – to the comfort of their souls being more intertwined than they'd ever been in every way possible – and Jace was fully aware of how much they were risking just so that they could have this.

He wasn't scared of the perspective. He'd told Alec that enough times, he'd assured him of it every time it had been brought up, and he meant it; now more than ever as caught his parabatai's gaze. It was enough to remind him of everything they'd put on the line and of everything he was ready to do to keep things as they were.

 _Everything_ , he decided, hand straying to rest over Alec's in the space between them. To keep this – to keep _him_ – he would do anything.


End file.
